In the month of August, we looked into the theme, “Building Strong Families”. – Proverbs 24:3

Marriage was created by God, for the purpose of glorifying Him. God said, “Let us create man in our image and likeness” (Genesis 1:26), and in the process, created Adam that encompassed all of Him. When God decided to create a ‘helper’, rather than doing the same process twice, He took out of Adam to create Eve. In the process, the personality of God was placed in two persons, hence the beginning of marriage began.

As a husband and wife get closer, the glory of God is revealed through them. Until two people in marriage become one, it does not glorify God.

Marriage is very intricate because it is the start to any family unit that forms the community and society at large.

THREE STAGES BUILDING TO A STRONG MARRIAGE

We looked at three stages of marriage that is important to learn and understand, to ensure that marriages are stronger and much more efficient in fulfilling Gods purpose.

  • ATTRACTION PHASE: Often and most times, opposites attract. As human beings, we are naturally attracted to what we do not have, and the same applies in choosing a spouse. The strongest marriages are made of opposites, and will excel when both parties are willing to accommodate one another’s differences. We should note that what opposites attract is personality. Values must always compliment.
  • FRUSTRATION PHASE: Whilst the attraction phase is more emotionally and feelings, in this stage, the emotions reduces and certain characteristics about your spouse and made more prominent. This phase usually occurs between 6 months to 2 years, although it still occurs at several points in marriage. Because of the opposite characteristics, there is usually a clash and the couple must find a way to co-exist with one another. When they are able to work through their differences, they are able to progress to the next phase.
  • EXCHANGE PHASE: The exchange phase happens when the man and woman are able to understand one another’s differences, and play to each others strength. Strengths are merged and the marriage is stronger than ever. We also learnt to be aware of the frustration phase, as satan always takes advantage of disunity in marriages.

HOW TO MANAGE THE FRUSTRATION PHASE

  • Awareness stage: Always be aware that you and your spouse are not the same. Be conscious of your differences.
  • Acceptance stage: Accept them as they are. We learnt that what hurts us is our expectation of people, as the people are being who they are.
  • Appreciation stage: Learn to appreciate their differences.
  • Adjustment stage: In your marriage, make adjustment for character differences.

In summary, we understood that marriage makes you a better person, as it wills to conform you to the image of Christ. When we understand this, marriages will strengthen, leading to strong families. – Ephesians 5:22-28